Thus it begins

        I hate diets. On principal. I grew up with a mother who had warned me of the evils of dieting. She may not have meant anything by it but I internalized the message. “Don't ever diet. Diets don't work.” For the first twenty one years of my life when it came to food I never denied myself anything. I ate whatever I wanted whenever I happened to want it but I constantly felt sick. I had no idea why I felt so sick and I wasn't going to be bothered with finding out why either. I was just sick. It was the norm.

       When I was twenty one my mother discovered she had Celiac Disease. Knowing it was hereditary, she convinced me that I probably had it too. I went to her Naturopath who confirmed I had Celiac. I looked down at the list of now-forbidden food that stretched across multiple pages and I sobbed. I felt like my life was over. Dramatic? Yes, but that's how it felt.

       It warped my whole world. The one thing I refused to ever do was diet and now here I was- forced to change my perspective. I had to be on a Gluten Free diet. Yes, it was for health reasons, but the bias was still there. It took months, if not years for me to adjust to the fact that I had to say “no.” I could not automatically take whatever food I might be offered. I had to check labels and ask questions and often say “no.” I had to be the person at the restaurant who bugged the server with a million questions about the different dishes and most of the time they had to double check something with the chef. I had to order salads (which I had never done by choice). I had to order burgers wrapped in *shudder* lettuce.

      Given time, I adjusted. Celiac became a more recognized disease. Coupled with the fact that “Gluten Free” became a trendy diet for a while, the availability of Gluten Free (GF) food expanded enormously over the last five years.

     For a while, everything was fine. I became comfortable with being GF and life went back to normal. Then I started to get sick again. 2012 saw crippling migraines on a nearly weekly basis. I was so nauseous I couldn't eat, so fatigued I literally couldn't get off of the floor and would sometimes have to crawl to the bathroom.

     After more investigation, and more doctor appointments that I could keep track of, I figured out that my migraines were likely caused by anemia, the same anemia that was likely caused by my Celiac. I tried prescriptions, last summer I even attempted a dairy and sugar free diet for two horrible weeks, kicking and screaming the whole way, before throwing in the towel and ordering a pizza.

     I started taking Iron supplements and the migraines subsided. I still get them semi-regularly, but they're minor enough to be an considered an annoyance rather than a debilitating illness. Then came the sinus headaches. They were nearly as bad as the migraines that proceeded them. More doctors. more prescriptions. It's been a few weeks since my last sinus infection but in the mean time i've been having more stomach symptoms, though my GF diet is still rigorously maintained. My stomach seems to be constantly swollen, as it had before. Foods that are certified GF and shouldn't make me sick, often do anyway.

     This continued illness (and a trip to see my mom) brought me to Aglaee Jacob's book- Digestive Health with REAL food.

     In her book, Ms. Jacob presents us with an Elimination Diet. Essentially, you eat nothing but meat, four different vegetables and a few specific fats for at least an entire month. The reason for this is, due to most autoimmune and completely irritating diseases, you can develop what is called “Leaky Gut Syndrome” (AKA increased intestinal permeability) which is as gross as it sound. The name says it all- due to a myriad of illnesses, you develop tiny holes in your intestines. Molecules of the foods you eat slip through these holes and are attacked by your bloodstream. This can lead to more GI unpleasantness and more food allergies than you originally had. The only way to fix this is to heal you intestines. The only way to do THAT is to eat foods that are easier on your intestines, like those listed above.

     Eventually you get to the point where you are just plain sick of being sick. Modern medicine doesn't seem to be working. Whatever I'm doing now doesn't seem to be working either. Perhaps a more holistic approach is exactly what i've always needed, but I haven't taken the time to investigate it. Maybe, just maybe, this Elimination Diet could be the answer to all that ails me.

     I hate diets. But I need to heal. For the month of January, I am going to follow the elimination diet. I am going to focus on healing. It's going to be tough. I will need to rework my entire brain. I am going to enter this in as positive way possible. I am going to try to be Zen. Try not to think about all the deliciousness I will temporarily be leaving behind. With the help of my mother, who will also be on the elimination diet, and hopefully with the help of this blog, I will make it to February with a healed stomach and a new outlook on life. This will be difficult. But I am ready to feel better. I am ready to heal.