I
hate diets. On principal. I grew up with a mother who had warned me
of the evils of dieting. She may not have meant anything by it but I
internalized the message. “Don't ever diet. Diets don't work.”
For the first twenty one years of my life when it came to food I
never denied myself anything. I ate whatever I wanted whenever I
happened to want it but I constantly felt sick. I had no idea why I
felt so sick and I wasn't going to be bothered with finding out why
either. I was just sick. It was the norm.
When I was twenty one my
mother discovered she had Celiac Disease. Knowing it was hereditary,
she convinced me that I probably had it too. I went to her Naturopath
who confirmed I had Celiac. I looked down at the list of
now-forbidden food that stretched across multiple pages and I sobbed.
I felt like my life was over. Dramatic? Yes, but that's how it felt.
It warped my whole
world. The one thing I refused to ever do was diet and now here I
was- forced to change my perspective. I had to be on a Gluten Free
diet. Yes, it was for health reasons, but the bias was still there.
It took months, if not years for me to adjust to the fact that I had
to say “no.” I could not automatically take whatever food I might
be offered. I had to check labels and ask questions and often say
“no.” I had to be the person at the restaurant who bugged the
server with a million questions about the different dishes and most
of the time they had to double check something with the chef. I had
to order salads (which I had never done by choice). I had to order
burgers wrapped in *shudder*
lettuce.
Given
time, I adjusted. Celiac became a more recognized disease. Coupled
with the fact that “Gluten Free” became a trendy diet for a
while, the availability of Gluten Free (GF) food expanded enormously
over the last five years.
For
a while, everything was fine. I became comfortable with being GF and
life went back to normal. Then I started to get sick again. 2012 saw
crippling migraines on a nearly weekly basis. I was so nauseous I
couldn't eat, so fatigued I literally couldn't get off of the floor
and would sometimes have to crawl to the bathroom.
After
more investigation, and more doctor appointments that I could keep
track of, I figured out that my migraines were likely caused by
anemia, the same anemia that was likely caused by my Celiac. I tried
prescriptions, last summer I even attempted a dairy and sugar free
diet for two horrible weeks, kicking and screaming the whole way,
before throwing in the towel and ordering a pizza.
I
started taking Iron supplements and the migraines subsided. I still
get them semi-regularly, but they're minor enough to be an considered
an annoyance rather than a debilitating illness. Then came the sinus
headaches. They were nearly as bad as the migraines that proceeded
them. More doctors. more prescriptions. It's been a few weeks since
my last sinus infection but in the mean time i've been having more
stomach symptoms, though my GF diet is still rigorously maintained.
My stomach seems to be constantly swollen, as it had before. Foods
that are certified GF and shouldn't make me sick, often do anyway.
This
continued illness (and a trip to see my mom) brought me to Aglaee
Jacob's book- Digestive
Health with REAL food.
In
her book, Ms. Jacob presents us with an Elimination Diet.
Essentially, you eat nothing but meat, four different vegetables and
a few specific fats for at least an entire month. The reason for this
is, due to most autoimmune and completely irritating diseases, you
can develop what is called “Leaky Gut Syndrome” (AKA increased
intestinal permeability)
which is as gross as it sound. The name says it all- due to a myriad
of illnesses, you develop tiny holes in your intestines. Molecules of
the foods you eat slip through these holes and are attacked by your
bloodstream. This can lead to more GI unpleasantness and more food
allergies than you originally had. The only way to fix this is to
heal you intestines. The only way to do THAT is to eat foods that are
easier on your intestines, like those listed above.
Eventually
you get to the point where you are just plain sick of being sick.
Modern medicine doesn't seem to be working. Whatever I'm doing now
doesn't seem to be working either. Perhaps a more holistic approach
is exactly what i've always needed, but I haven't taken the time to
investigate it. Maybe, just maybe, this Elimination Diet could be the
answer to all that ails me.
I
hate diets. But I need to heal. For the month of January, I am going
to follow the elimination diet. I am going to focus on healing. It's
going to be tough. I will need to rework my entire brain. I am going
to enter this in as positive way possible. I am going to try to be
Zen. Try not to think about all the deliciousness I will temporarily
be leaving behind. With the help of my mother, who will also be on
the elimination diet, and hopefully with the help of this blog, I
will make it to February with a healed stomach and a new outlook on
life. This will be difficult. But I am ready to feel better. I am
ready to heal.
